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Your penis is ruled by your autonomic nervous system, much like your heart rate and blood pressure. Then again, if you also drink four whiskey shots, you may have trouble getting hard at all. Yes, it happens—some men can have orgasms without ever getting even slightly hard. This probably makes them happy.
I have friends who have no issue revealing intimate details about their partner's penis to their friends. In fact, I know which of my friends have regular access to bent, crooked, or soft ones, which ones smell weird and which ones only perk up with porn on in the background. And despite the fact they can and will! It blows my mind that talking about our vaginas can still feel so taboo, naughty, and forbidden. In fact, it's so taboo to talk about vaginas that we sometimes can't distinguish a functional vagina from a non-functioning one.